What do you
want to be when you grow up? We’ve all heard this question before,
and on the surface it can be funny. However, it also has the power to
provoke you to ask an even more dangerous question of yourself: Am I
happy with my life as it is now?
Are
you happy? Are you the
person you thought you’d be? Are you personally, professionally and
spiritually satisfied with who you are and where you are in your life
today? If your answer is, “Yes, I am quite content with my current
job, family life, the amount of personal time I have to pursue things
that are important to me, and my financial situation,” then
congratulations, and keep up the good work!
However, if
your answer is no, then you may want to think about what’s not
working and why. It may be something small that a simple tweak of
priorities will fix. Or, perhaps it is time for a major change—a new
job, a better personal relationship, or more personal time to feel
like you’re here for a reason beyond simply being a mom, dad,
employee or devoted son or daughter. Take it a step further: what are
your dreams? Do you still have dreams, or were they washed away with
the onset of adulthood?
Do
you dare to explore the three big questions of life?
The three big ones are: Who am I? What do I really want from life?
What am I willing to do to get it? If you are ready to explore these
questions and make some changes, then a life coach is the perfect
person to assist you. The purpose of a
life coach is to help you get more of what you want out of life,
today. A life coach helps you address your current desires of life, be
it less stress, less burden of responsibilities, more time to do the
things you love, or simply more joy.
How
do you know whether you need a life coach or a therapist? A
therapist’s role is to help fix problems, heal emotional wounds from
the past, and sometimes manage mental illness. With coaching, while
you may discuss past issues, your past is not the primary
focus—rather, your future is. A life coach does not analyze your
behavior or tell you what is wrong with you. Life coaching sessions
are based on creating solutions for obstacles that prevent you from
getting from where you are to where you want to be in life right now.
What’s
the difference between a life coach and a mentor?
A mentor is a
role model who generally has successfully experienced a similar
situation to which you are facing yourself. A mentor is someone who
can give you that “been there, done that” kind of advice. For
example, a woman who made it as an astronaut and can tell you the ins
and out of applying to the NASA program and how to successfully
complete it as one of a few female applicants. A life coach, however,
will help you figure out if you really want to be an astronaut or
whether it is someone else’s dream you feel compelled to follow. If
it is indeed your dream, then a life coach helps you get past all the
barriers you feel are preventing you from doing it today—such as: I
have no money. I have a family. I’m too stupid. I’m too old.
What’s
the difference between a life coach and a consultant?
A consultant
is usually an expert in a certain area. A consultant comes to you with
an agenda and a game plan. You pay for their expertise and follow
their suggested plan. A coach, on the other hand, has no agenda and
believes that you are the expert in your own life. Life coaches
believe that ultimately you have the answers. It is the coach’s job
to help uncover those answers and use them to bring about the desired
changes in your life. This doesn’t mean that coaches aren’t
experts and don’t specialize in certain areas. The difference is
that they work with you to develop solutions and guide you through the
implementation process. Life coaches serve as your partner, not just
an advisor.
Maybe
all I need is a friend?
The most
heavily used advisor to our life’s problems is often a best friend.
So, why not use a friend instead of a coach? It’s definitely
cheaper. The problem is that good friends know you so well that they
will often project what’s best for you from their own personal
agenda as to how they think your life should be. A best friend’s
comments are often riddled with opinions and hidden (or not so hidden)
judgments about your behavior past and present. Don’t get me wrong,
friends are wonderful and have a treasured place in life. However,
what you do with your life should be about you—not them.
How
does life coaching work?
Once you’ve
decided you need a life coach, you may wonder how it works. A
little-known fact about coaching is that it is often done over the
phone. Most people have never met the coaches they have hired! Your
coach can be located anywhere in the world. Coaching sessions are done
over the phone for 30 to 45 minute once a week for a varying minimum
of three months to potentially a couple of years. It all depends on
what you are trying to accomplish and the pace of the action you are
willing to take.
How
much does coaching cost?
There is no
set dollar figure a coach must charge. Rates can vary anywhere from
$200 per month to $1000 or more per month, depending on the experience
and reputation of the coach. If you are thinking, “Who would pay
that much just to talk to someone once a week about what’s not
working in their life?” remember that coaching is about the value it
brings to your life. How much would you pay someone to help you feel
happy and fulfilled? How much would you pay someone to help you figure
out how to move to Australia, which was your secret lifelong dream?
How much would you pay someone who helped you get out of bed and go to
work with a smile instead of a scowl each day?
When you pay
for a coach, you are investing in the satisfaction you get from the
positive shift in your life. You are paying to move from a position of
unhappiness, dissatisfaction, or feeling stuck in a rut to the
realization that, hey, I can go back to school, I can
start my own business, I can
move my family out of this neighborhood, or I can
get out of debt.
If
you had no tomorrow, what would you be doing today?
Why not hire a
life coach and find out?
Eve
Graves
is a Personal Development Life Coach who specializes in furthering
your dreams and finding solutions for your discontent. She can be
reached at 907-398-1092 or smoothpathways@yahoo.com.
