Have you ever felt other-directed? Many have
this experience everyday. For example, when was the last time you took
up a pencil and started doodling? You didn't have anything in mind
that you wanted to draw; you just followed the whim. And when you were
done, to your surprise, you'd made a beautiful sketch: maybe a flower
or a lovely geometric design. Following a creative urge is a powerful
way of experiencing what it means to feel other-directed. Sometimes
the feeling is accompanied by a profound sense of joy.
When my sister Jan called with the terrible
news that she had cancer, she asked me to put my meditations to music
for her. I imagined her pain, her fear, and her need for healing.
Those needs galvanized me. For two days I felt completely focused and
other-directed. My concentration flowed easily from one task to the
next: choosing music, artwork and text; creating a flow of sound,
image and word that fit together almost seamlessly.
Under normal circumstances this is no easy
task. My husband and I are pilots. We live in a rural village of 200
people, in a part of Alaska with no roads, so access is mainly by air.
The technology in the village at the time was limited, but our will
and spirit were not. While I worked on the formatting, my husband Ron
found a mixer and within two days I was ready to record. I didn't plot
out what text fit with what phrase of music; I simply felt guided.
It was an amazing experience. Just before
recording I told our cat, "Quiet now, kitty." Imagine our
small, wooden house - it sits next to a dusty road with ATVs zooming
past throughout the day. Yet when we recorded, all was quiet. Except
once - when kitty meowed ever so slightly; her little meow was in such
perfect timing that it fit right in. Thus we made our first recording.
I listened carefully, made a couple of adjustments and we recorded
again. The second recording was a take - all in 53 minutes!
I was amazed at how everything fit so
perfectly: the right timing, the right emotions, the right flow of
music and meaning. To me it was a little miracle. There was no doubt
in my mind that I had been other-directed. The experience had a depth
and beauty all of its own. I felt tingling up and down my spine and
knew that I was in the process of creating something that would not
only meet my sister's needs, but was also part of the larger design:
The larger ongoing, that flows
through depths
Of sapphire blue, of amber gold, of winter night,
Starlight, moonlight, of singing winds, and sighing trees,
Of morning pink, of evening breeze...
The beauty reminds me of all that is right,
Of all that is good, of all that might be,
Of what can be, of how happy, simply to be.
Being other-directed often feels effortless.
Because my sister's need carried me through the
creative process and because I felt transported while creating, I
didn't need much scaffolding for my writing effort.
But that's not always the case with my writing.
When I want to jump-start a feeling of flow and creative ease on my
own, I use a creative writing process that works without fail.
First, while listening to music, I begin with a
free-flowing, line drawing. This is something that anyone, regardless
of his or her level of creativity, can easily do. It's a great
activity for relieving stress, for healing and for priming creativity.
I love drawing because I feel like a little kid
again. It sets the stage for my writing experience, helping me
establish a loving, free-flowing relationship with my larger creative
spirit. This in turn models the kind of experience that I want and
ultimately expect from my writing. Also, by combining art, music, and
poetry as presets for my writing, I open new doors of expression.
After my line-drawing, I create an associative
web based upon the words, images and memories I associate with the
drawing. To make the web, I first make a diagram, much like the image
of a wheel, with spokes radiating from its center. At the end of each
spoke, I attach a word or symbol associated with my drawing. I
continue to add lines, some branching from the established spokes,
with each new association, thought or memory that comes to me. I don't
censor myself. Rather, I trust the process and see where it takes me.
It's so much fun!
When using this technique with my sister, I
would say, "Step into your imagination, connect with your
potential and plant seeds of nurturing thought." I strongly
believe in self-fulfilling prophecy. The thoughts that arise in
free-association can be inspiring. Indeed, words and images often seem
to bound across the page with a life of their own.
After creating the recording for my sister, it
was clear to me she needed much more. So I developed a program for her
healing: exercises in relaxation and shifting perspective, techniques
for problem solving, anger management and creative expression - all
basic, valuable techniques put into concrete, hands-on forms. The
miracle is that Jan went into remission. During this time she shared
her wisdom and the techniques I'd taught with others in her cancer
support groups. She was happy and fulfilled.
Sadly, Jan's cancer returned and before she
died, she asked me to make the program that I'd created for her
available to others. This is how my Wellness through the Arts program
was born. My art, music, writing and program are my connections to Jan
and the Larger Design, to Nature and the healing power of creativity,
imagination and self expression.
The next time you want to connect with your
creative potential or prime your creativity, try picking up a pencil
and begin to doodle. Make an associative web and see where your
imagination and associations take you. Express all that you can be. In
the process, you will forge a path of self-discovery!
Carol Loftfield's Wellness
through the Arts program offers writers' workshops, wellness
workshops, conference presentations, live performances, and a U of A
graduate level teacher training class. See: www.carolsartmeditation.com
