Refuse to Abuse
by Jackie Kosednar

 

Let’s get real. War cannot end war. Just like abuse cannot end abuse. Abuse begets more abuse - always.

It has been over a year since we declared war on the terrorists, but how much peace have we accomplished? How many innocent people have we killed along with terrorists? Are you tired of watching people blow each other up on the TV and reading about it in the news?

During this past year, many of us have worked on ourselves to earnestly bring peace to our own individual world, realizing that to effectively bring peace to the planet, we have to collectively handle the abuse problem not only in the world, but in our own lives.

I believe we can end war in our lifetime and, in the process, do our part to bring peace on earth. However, it will take a paradigm shift in our thinking and a lot of individual practice.

Abuse is the number one cause of all problems this planet is facing, from the way we treat our bodies to the way we treat our beloved earth. The macrocosm of abuse is a world war that could end the human race. The microcosm is the war that goes on in our families and in our own inner selves - the thoughts and feelings we run that degrade our being.

Many of us think that a little abuse is okay, or perhaps okay in some situations. That's why when the Twin Towers were destroyed, and we were scared the whole world was going to blow up, we made it okay for Bush to send in troops to kill terrorists and their families in order to end the threat. If we had to do the killing ourselves, who among us could have done it?

We allow a considerable amount of abuse in raising our children. Children will obey those they respect. Respect is something we earn that comes out of honor; it has nothing to do with fear. Because it is socially acceptable, however, people fight. They fight over who is right and who is wrong. When children see their parents dishonor each other, they learn to dishonor themselves. When we honor our children and mates, they honor us, and abuse tactics, be they physical or verbal, become unnecessary.

The abuse of food, drugs, and alcohol creates havoc with the body and leads to physical disease. Childhood abuse is the biggest cause of mental and emotional disorders, addictions and problems in adults. Abuse always creates dysfunction in some form - if not in the short term, then soon down the road.

Have you examined your own moral code? You have been developing it all of your life, making unconscious decisions about right and wrong. How much abuse is okay with you? Maybe it is time to really look within. Are you blindly going along with social norms or have you thought independently about forming your ethics and values?

In the past, human moral code has supported abuse in the gain of power, success and control of large groups of people (as well as control of individuals, like our children). The more people, land, or money you controlled, the richer and more powerful you were. As we evolved from living in caves with survival modes to becoming intelligent beings employing technology to create all the wonderful comforts we have, our moral code never changed. Throughout history, every spiritual teaching has emphasized the importance of loving one another. Buddha asked us to do no harm. Jesus advised turning the other cheek. God said in the 10 commandments, "Do not kill!" We didn't pay attention. Our collective moral code said abuse was okay.

As technology increased, weapons evolved from rocks and knives to guns and battle-axes, then to machine guns and atom bombs. Because of this dynamic, our social moral structure degraded more and the abuse got smarter, more sophisticated. We learned some nasty abuse tactics with germs and chemical weapons. The American people supported and paid for the research and development of these horrible weapons. It was okay to abuse the planet with chemical dumping and waste our resources. Big business does it, and we look the other way and even buy those nasty chemicals, spreading them around our yards and houses. They make money, everyone suffers, and the disease rate and the rate of depression and insanity increases. All because as the human race we allowed, condoned, looked the other way and never took a stand - against abuse.

Let's get real. War cannot end war. Just like abuse cannot end abuse. Abuse begets more abuse - always. The way to end war is to stop supporting any kind of abuse and ask others to do the same.

It may help to define exactly what abuse entails. As the dictionary notes, abuse involves "…a corrupt practice or custom; improper or excessive use or treatment (such as drug abuse); a deceitful act or deception; language that condemns or vilifies usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily (such as verbal abuse); and physical maltreatment."

To stop supporting abuse, we must make a commitment to get abuse out of our lives. As the commitment unfolds, we begin to examine our own life and see where abuse hides. Where are its roots? How does the collective war-abuse consciousness want to work within us?

Next, we might practice not abusing anything, including ourselves. Pretty soon, we cannot allow others to abuse us, emotionally, physically or verbally.

This practice will not only end war on this planet eventually - it will end war in your home and workplace immediately.

Be bold when you tell people that you no long support abuse in any way, shape or form - the future of the human race might depend on it. It's time to change our collective moral code. The more we refuse to support abuse, the faster peace will unfold on our planet.

As a sign on my wall notes, "There is NO excuse for abuse." I teach my children to honor all life, no matter how justified their anger. In teaching them, I teach myself as well. None of us are perfect, nor are we going to get it right the first time - but we can all be trained.

To have peace on earth, make it begin with you. Then it becomes contagious. People see you do it and they do it too. That is the way of the human being. So speak up and speak out - refuse to abuse.

Jackie Kosednar is a psycho-spiritual therapist, personal growth trainer, and the publisher of Alaska Wellness Magazine. She is also the author of the book "One Miracle After Another." www.healingtoby.com